Divorce Lawyer Coquitlam | Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators Port Coquitlam

What To Do When It’s Obvious You Need A Divorce

cim — Wed, 22 Aug 2018 20:09:43 +0000

Divorce in each of the 50 states follows a different set of criteria. The process of obtaining a divorce is determined by the state the couple lives in, not the province the couple married. The latest laws of divorce give the spouse the right to serve the soon-to-be-divorced spouse papers through Facebook. So, if after attempting to serve your spouse with divorce papers face-to-face, you have failed you can lower your expectations and serve them via the internet.

The saddest types of divorce cases involve the dissolution of a marriage with young children. Custody and child support are usually a source of contention between two parties in any court case. The average divorce case rarely disappoints in this area. The elements of most divorces include either an at-fault divorce or a no-fault-based divorce. In addition to the necessary criteria to file for divorce the former couple will also have to resolve the following issues:

Spousal Support
Child Support
Child Custody
Distribution of Property
Division of Debt

The residential requirement only applied to the spouse applying for the divorce, not the remaining spouse.

An at-fault divorce was once the only way to obtain a divorce. Now, people have had to find ways to contest an at-fault divorce, and some have sunk into utilizing sinister means to fight these divorces. They have used collusion, deceit with another party to challenge the process; condonation, agreeing to the activity to lure the party into a comfort level about the act; connivance, participating in the act they are now complaining about; recrimination, accusing the accusing party of the same act; and provocation, when the spouse uses provocative events to initiate enough emotion so that the one party acts. In all of these cases, one party is seeking to stay married to the party applying for the at-fault divorce.

In the case of a no-fault divorce, neither party has to be found guilty of any wrongdoing before a divorce is granted. Still, a no-fault divorce needs a reason for the dissolution. That reason can range from an irremediable breakdown, like when one party moves out and refuses to move back in or from incompatibility or from irreconcilable differences, which takes forms like differences that include character, beliefs, incurable insanity and personality.

Now, with the advent of community property, another wrinkle has been added to the divorce debacle. In a divorce, the division of assets is an integral part of the process. In community property states, the assets are divided according to when the spouse acquired the assets. If the assets were acquired before marriage, the spouse alone has a right to those assets. If those assets were acquired after marriage, the assets would be divided between both spouses equally.

With all these variations to divorce, there is one devastation that remains the same, no matter what type of dissolution the spouses participate in and that is the damage to the children. Children are always the biggest victim of divorce. They have very little say in what is done or how their parents handle the situation, but they are always victimized by the actions of their parents.

It’s only when the exes choose to display their disappointment with each other that children begin to feel unwanted feelings about the situation and themselves. As hard as it is to explain the decision to divorce to children, it should be explained in understandable language for a child. Most importantly, it needs to be honest, the real reasons you can no longer live together as husband and wife.

For instance, in the case of infidelity, the children should be told the truth. Daddy fell out of love with Mommy or vice versa, but daddy will never fall out of love with you, his baby. That’s a different kind of love that never fades or dies because he created you.

In the case of the inability, for husband and wife to get along, the parents can explain that mommy and daddy don’t know how to get along any more. Be calm when you explain this and hold the child while you say these things. Tell them that you did one thing right together, you made the children whom you both love with all your heart. And lastly explain how you are now trying to learn how to share their new lives with the children, and it may take a while to get all the new scheduling and timing perfect.

The things you as a parent don’t want to do is accuse the other parent of wrongdoing in the presence of your child. You never want to give your children the impression that there is any character in the other parent which makes him or her unsuitable. If you must complain, you should do so in private away from the children. Set up an appointment with your ex and meet away from the children and air out your differences there, and only in such settings.

If the spouses decide to have equal custody of the children and each partner behaves justly, fulfilling his or her responsibilities to the children, then the children usually adjust to their new situation reasonably well. It’s only when bickering, and constant arguing is part of the dissolution that children seem to be the most injured parties.

In all types of divorces, if children are involved to best practices of the parents is reflected in a fair sharing of the children. Each parent should give some time to the rearing and interaction with each child. Both girls and boys need the interaction with their moms and dads. It teaches them how to have healthy interactions between parent and child and men and women.

Divorces may not realize this, but when they can healthily resolve their disagreements, their children learn how to resolve their differences with others in a non-violent, peaceful fashion. It’s not only a teaching moment; it sets them up for a future of peace, free of discord. We all have moments when we disagree with others, how we resolve these issues determines how we navigate the constant influx of problems we face daily. Navigating a divorce well, whether it is ugly or non-contentious sets us up for the future. Divorces should strive to start their new single existence without any burdens holding them down, and that should include feelings of hate and distrust for an ex-spouse. Children know when those feelings exist. The only way to hide them is not to have them. There is a tendency to think psychological help for children will resolve their problems, but it’s the parents who should seek psychological help resolving their anger toward each other so that the whole family can be healed after the breakup.

Coquitlam Divorce Lawyers

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

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5 Tips to Reach a Better Outcome for a Messy Divorce Settlement

cim — Wed, 22 Aug 2018 20:07:01 +0000

Divorce is complicated. Some people could even confirm that no one wins in a divorce. There are bad things that come forward such as cheating on someone, lying and various types of abuses that happen in a marriage that can ultimately lead to divorces. The goal of this article is not to provide advice to someone going through a typical divorce, but to offer tips to a person going through an unnatural divorce.

1. Get Your Team in Order

No case is won with an inferior team. While you do not need an expensive A-Team, you do need a competent attorney that is experienced. There are many things that can come out in a divorce, and it helps significantly to be prepared for any potential situation. A family law lawyer, or team of them, is qualified to represent you in your case. You have to have full confidence in your legal representation, or you will have to find another expert.

Because finances are part of every legal end of a marriage, it can help to include a Divorce Financial Planner. It is these professionals that work to minimize any financial setbacks that might occur when a proposal is received from a third party.

Finally, it can be helpful to seek out a therapist that can provide support to you or your minor children. There are many emotional and psychological factors that exist in every divorce. Making sure that your emotions are in check due to guidance from an expert can help you to become a stronger human being during the legal separation from your partner.

2. Do Not Move Out

Some men and women make a mistake when a divorce case is filed: they leave home. Do not move out whether you are by yourself or if you have children. You do not want a court to rule in favor of your spouse which is called “de facto possession.” Due to the range of emotional issues that are encountered, keeping access to your current home is a smart decision. You have a right to live where you are right now regardless if you or your spouse has already filed divorce paperwork.

3. Keep Your Assets Safe

Some say that divorce is like a war. People tend to do things they would not usually do. People can hide money, spend too much money or sell off personal assets without telling a spouse. Keeping good records can help you before and during the divorce process. You can make a list of what you currently own, get copies of tax records, current loan statements, credit card bills and other financial data. It is best to obtain data going back two years or more of each record type.

Having this range of documents can help you to be prepared during the pre-divorce stage.

4. Expect the Unexpected

While in court, anything can be brought up by your spouse. If you’ve ever had any type of verbal or physical altercation, this event can and usually will be brought forth. Things such as a retaliatory post on Facebook, argumentative texts, confrontational emails or any other thing may be perceived as being negative. It is also a good idea to never speak in a negative way about your imminent ex while in the presence of your children. If you do not want a judge to read or hear what you’ve written or said, be calm and quiet as possible until your court date.

An excellent divorce lawyer will already know what might be brought forward in court. By being honest with your legal team, and keeping a cool head, you put yourself in a better position to reach a positive outcome.

5. Brain Power Versus Your Heart

There are many people that end up relying on their heart in a divorce case settlement. No one said that divorce is easy to go through. With that being said, you have to take away the emotional attachment that you have to your spouse. By thinking with your brain, you will be able to prepare easier and act in a more professional manner. Your emotions will be disconnected, and this could help you greatly in your settlement. If you make a poor decision based on your emotions, that decision can haunt the outcome of your divorce. Your legal team and therapist can coach you through what will likely be the hardest time of your life.

The financial and real estate settlements that are part of a divorce will require your full attention, and the ability to think without emotional baggage might improve your overall success rate.

Divorce Lawyer Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

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Legal separations and child support

Laughlin Law — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 21:07:30 +0000

On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Child Support on Thursday, August 4, 2016.

A legal separation is an option that many people explore, either as a trial period to see if the divorce is really what they want or for other personal or financial reasons. However, it’s important to understand that a legal separation is not the same as “taking a break” or having an on-again-off-again relationship with someone.

Just like a court order for a divorce, a separation agreement must be followed or modified if need be through the proper legal channels. This is why it’s very important to understand exactly what you’re agreeing to and what you will need to do later on if there is an issue.

Because those who choose to go through a separation instead of a divorce are still legally married, there are many misconceptions about what can be done with finances. For instance, child support may still come into play even though the marriage is technically intact. This is because the parties will be maintaining separate households, which means more expenses. If child support would have been awarded in the event of a divorce, it is likely to also be a factor in the separation.

If you are interested in a legal separation but aren’t sure if it’s a viable option for your situation, it’s important to start off by talking to a lawyer about your rights, choices and expectations. This ensures that you understand the differences between the separation and a divorce, the issues unique to a separation and what you may need to do later on if you decide to completely terminate the marriage.

Family Lawyer Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370
https://www.laughlinlaw.ca

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What if my ex doesn’t want to attend mediation?

Laughlin Law — Wed, 13 Jul 2016 18:21:46 +0000

On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Wednesday, July 13, 2016.

Mediation can be an excellent way to expedite the divorce process and make it less stressful for everyone involved. Even after the divorce is finalized, mediation can help you and your ex-avoids the courts when you want to make changes to the custody or parenting schedule. However, mediation only works when both people attend, and if your ex-doesn’t want to, you may wonder if there’s anything you can do.

In many cases, the answer will be no. If your ex-doesn’t want to participate in mediation, your only option may be to go through a trial in the family courts. However, it may be worth talking to your ex and trying to explain how mediation may benefit them. It’s less costly and quicker than a full trial, for example.

If this doesn’t work, there is one situation in which a party may be compelled by the courts to participate in mediation: if you have started a case with the Supreme Court. In these circumstances, you can have your lawyer serve your ex with a Notice to Mediate.

As long as you serve the paperwork in the proper time frame, your ex will be compelled to comply unless there has already been an attempt at mediation, there is a protection order in play, the mediator doesn’t believe mediation will be helpful, or the court rules that your ex is exempt from participating.

If you think mediation may help you and your ex-resolve your differences, the first step is to talk to a family lawyer. After that, you will be better informed and prepared to move forward.

Source: Legal Services Society, “Mediation,” accessed July 13, 2016

Divorce Lawyer Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370
https://www.laughlinlaw.ca/

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How is pet custody determined?

Laughlin Law — Mon, 06 Jun 2016 18:24:58 +0000

On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Division of Property on Monday, June 6, 2016.

While many couples going through a divorce disagree on matters of child custody and parenting time, a new type of custody case has been coming before the courts more and more: pet custody. If you or your soon-to-be ex-adopted pets during your relationship, it can be tough to decide who gets to keep which animals. However, it’s important to understand that the courts are very limited in what they can order when it comes to pet custody and visitation.

In most cases, pets are considered part of the marital property, which means the regular property division guidelines apply and they are not subject to things like custody and access. Like with other assets, the judge will be able to grant one party ownership of the pets and order that party to pay the other half of the pet’s value, but that’s all.

There have been some cases in the past, however, where a judge did give a specific order involving a pet custody case, so it is possible. It may be better, though, to try to work out an arrangement that is agreeable to both parties and then talk to a lawyer to see if it can be made part of the official divorce settlement.

As a last note, it’s important to understand that much of this only works in official property division settlements subject to a legal marriage and divorce. If you are not married to your partner or are unsure if the property division guidelines apply, it may be best to talk with a lawyer before moving forward.

Source: FindLaw, “Who gets custody of the family pet when a couple separates or divorces?,” Miriam Yosowich, accessed June 06, 2016

Real Estate Lawyer Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

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Can criminal charges impact a family law case?

Laughlin Law — Tue, 24 May 2016 18:33:22 +0000

On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Child Custody on Tuesday, May 24, 2016.

Those who have made some mistakes in the past often worry whether criminal convictions or even charges may be held against them in a custody case. The short answer to this question is maybe, but it really depends on the nature of the charges, what happened in the criminal courts and when the offenses occurred.

For example, convictions related to family violence, assault, or drug or alcohol-related offenses may impact your chances of being named a guardian by the British Columbia family courts. It’s important to note that the Family Law Act means that parents are not automatically considered guardians by the courts. This is most applicable to a situation where the parents were never married and the child has been living with one parent.

In these cases, the nonresidential parent will need to show that being named a guardian is in the best interests of the children. If the parent is a guardian, they will have parental rights and responsibilities. If not, they will usually be limited to “contact time” specified by the courts.

Your ex can and may bring up your criminal record or pasts arrests in an attempt to show that you should not be granted custody. However, this doesn’t mean that you are without options. If the convictions are not related to family violence or other violent offenses and there is no danger to the children in your care, you may have a good case to present to the courts. It’s important to talk with a lawyer and be completely open and honest about anything in your past that may come up.

Source: The Continuing Legal Education Society of British Columbia, “An Overview of the Intersect between the Family Law Act, Criminal Code and the Ministry of Children and Family Development,” accessed May 24, 2016

Lawyer Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370
https://www.laughlinlaw.ca/

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Does what I post on social media matter?

Laughlin Law — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 18:37:47 +0000

On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Child Custody on Thursday, April 14, 2016.

When you begin going through divorce proceedings — or just a custody battle in the case of unmarried parents — you begin questioning everything you do and day and wonder if and how it may affect your case. And rightly so. When you are involved in family court proceedings, everything is under scrutiny. With technology increasingly becoming a part of our daily lives, it’s easy to post something that could be used against you in court without even realizing.

The two main areas where a party’s social media posts can be problematic in the courts are when it comes to finances and child custody. Unfortunately, it’s quite common for people to try to lie about their incomes or attempt to hide assets. Maybe you know how much money your ex-makes a year, but he never told you about last year’s Christmas bonus. Social media posts that show a lifestyle inconsistent with the financial declaration in the case or that mention additional, unreported funds or assets can mean big problems.

Social media can also have a major effect on child custody cases. When you are involved in a custody battle, everything is fair game, from the pile of dirty dishes in your sink to who you went out on Friday night. Photos are especially easy for a lawyer to spin to their client’s best interests in a courtroom. When in doubt, don’t post it.

If you think you have posted on your social media accounts that could be used against you in court proceedings, it’s important, to be honest about it to your lawyer. Your legal team needs a full understanding of the situation to best represent you.

Source: The Huffington Post, “How Facebook Can Be Used Against You in Divorce Court,” Christine Marchetti, accessed April 14, 2016

Law Firms Coquitlam BC

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370
https://www.laughlinlaw.ca

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High-asset divorce and property division

Laughlin Law — Thu, 07 Apr 2016 18:38:33 +0000

On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in High-Asset Divorce on Thursday, April 7, 2016.

While the basic process of divvying up the assets and debts is the same no matter how much the assets are worth, things do get more complicated when you start dealing with high-value assets. In some cases, you may not even be aware of all of the assets that qualify under the Family Law Act. This is one reason why it is so important to discuss your case with a lawyer in British Columbia who can help you understand how the property division process will take place and how to make sure there is full financial disclosure.

The first step is always for both parties to make a list of all of the assets. For most people, this includes bank accounts, real estate holdings and any automobiles. However, those going through a high-asset divorce may also need to consider things like investment accounts, antiques, and any businesses either party owns.

The next step is to discern the value of each of these assets. It’s important to understand that an asset is valued based on the date the couple separates or is no longer living together. This is important to keep the divorce proceedings moving along. If the property division had to be restarted every time a property value fluctuated with the real estate market, for instance, it would make coming to a settlement very difficult.

Once the total value of the couple’s property has been calculated, any debts are subtracted off this amount. The resulting figure is divided in two and this would be the amount each party would get. However, this still depends on several factors. Often, a settlement will include payments from one party to the other, called equalization payments, and a lawyer can provide more information on this.

Source: FindLaw, “Calculating family and equalization payments,” Casey Watson, accessed April 07, 2016

Divorce Lawyer Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370
www.laughlinlaw.ca/

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British Columbia ranked best for common law relationships

Laughlin Law — Wed, 17 Feb 2016 18:43:54 +0000

On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Division of Property on Wednesday, February 17, 2016.

While common law relationships are not recognized in every province in Canada, a recent news article covering those that do rank British Columbia as the most “common-law-friendly province.” This was mainly because of how quickly cohabitating couples are considered to be part of a common law relationship.

Under the province’s laws, once a couple has lived together for two years, they are considered to be in a common law relationship. This means that the parties have the same rights as married couples and are governed by the same debt and asset division guidelines in the event the relationships dissolves. However, many people in these relationships may not be aware of these rights.

In today’s society, it’s not unusual for dating couples to live together for a few years before deciding to marry. In these situations, the parties may not even be aware that they are technically in a common law relationship. This means that if/when the relationship ends, it’s easier for one person to end up with most of the assets or more than one’s fair share of the debts.

One of the most important things you can do to protect your rights and interests when a common law relationship or marriage is ending is to understand how the laws apply to your case. Talking with a lawyer about your situation as well as your wants, needs, and expectations can help you be better prepared as you go through the court process. Understanding the steps also helps you develop adequate expectations on how long the process is likely to take and what you may end up with at the end.

Source: The Canadian Press, “Common-law couples can be ‘woefully ignorant of their rights’: lawyer,” Melanie Patten, Feb. 11, 2016

Lawyer Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

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January continues as divorce month

Laughlin Law — Thu, 04 Feb 2016 18:45:31 +0000

On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in High-Asset Divorce on Thursday, February 4, 2016.

In the family law field, January is known as Divorce Month because it is one where attorneys often see a sudden influx of people wanting to know more about the legal and financial ramifications of ending their marriages. While many of these divorces won’t actually be finalized until months later, it’s important to gather as much information as possible so you can be prepared should you make the decision to move forward.

One possible reason for this increase is the normal self-reflection and reevaluation of life goals that happens around the first of the year. Many people are taking stock of their lives, relationships, current obstacles and where they hope to be in the next five to 10 years. This thought process often leads people to reconsider whether they are truly happy and fulfilled in their marriages or if they are just going through the motions.

The beginning of the year is also the calm after the storm and stress of the holiday season, and many couples find themselves dealing with unmet expectations and frustrations from the months before. However, a divorce should never be an impulse decision. It’s important to really think through your situation and discuss the particulars with a family law attorney who can provide some legal guidance and outside perspective.

It’s important to be fully informed of the possible options and outcomes. If you do decide to move forward and file for divorce, your attorney can help you understand what paperwork you will need and what particular issues you may be facing, whether they be child custody, complex property division or alimony.

Source: Huffington Post Canada, “Divorce Month: Why Marriages End In January,” Nathalie Boutet, Jan. 22, 2016

Coquitlam BC Lawyer

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

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