Waving the white flag is the first order of business when it comes to making the best out of a less than stellar divorce situation. Divorce is usually not looked upon as a positive regarding any familial area. But by adopting a divorce model used in British Columbia divorce mediation, divorce couples can parent their children as separate individuals as well as they were able to as a couple.

No couple wants any animosity that may be between them to be transferred to their children. There are times when children — in as much pain about the divorce as they may be — may use the situation to their advantage, and this is where having a parenting plan or map comes in handy. A family mediator may be able to diffuse situations where a child or children are pitting one parent against the other.

Focusing on the children is of the utmost importance when working out parenting roles during and after divorce. Children often think that they are responsible for their parents splitting up and that they must fix things. Part of the role of family mediation is to help parents deal with these emotions in their children.

Children deal with divorce differently at different ages, according to experts in psychology. When parents realize that if they don’t work as a team when it comes to their kids, their kids will try to pit them against each other mainly for attention. How children act could also be a reactionary way of how each parent is coping with the separation.

These are the kind of issues that can be discussed with a British Columbia lawyer experienced in family law and divorce mediation issues. A caring and concerned lawyer would be able to help divorcing parents and their children to get the help necessary to help through an emotional time. As well, a lawyer will make sure all the legalities of the divorce have been addressed, and that’s what lawyers do.

Coquitlam Lawyers

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Source: mediate.com, “A Transformative Parenting Mediation Model,” Wayne Plenert, Accessed on Sept. 1, 2017

There are few things more heated in a family dynamic as discussing an impending divorce. British Columbia couples who are separating — especially when there are children involved — might do well to seriously consider divorce mediation. Solving issues peaceably is emotionally healthier for everyone involved.

Mediation may be less expensive and less stressful than going to court. The divorce mediation process will help both individuals learn how to best resolve contentious issues in positive, constructive ways. Mediation is also an informal, private process, which is conducive to constructive problem-solving. A licensed mediator will work with each party to iron out issues while still considering the needs of both people.

Essentially, there are three types of mediation: civil lawsuit, family and child protection. Once the couple agrees on issues, the mediator will help them put pen to paper regarding their agreements. Any agreements made under these umbrellas are legally binding and are viable alternatives to going to court. Mediation addresses all kinds of disputes.

Mediation not only helps to find solutions to issues not initially agreed upon, but it empowers each individual with negotiation skills. It may also give each party the skills to be able to maturely discuss issues in the future regarding any children they have. Once soon-to-be-former couple understands the legalities surrounding these issues, they will be more apt to make joint decisions rather than having their fate decided by a judge.

Even though divorce mediation in British Columbia avoids the litigation process, individuals have the right to get a divorce lawyer experienced in family law to give them valuable advice and guidance throughout the mediation process. A lawyer will make sure any settlement agreement complies with British Columbia’s family laws. He or she will present any accepted agreement to the court to be approved.

Coquitlam Divorce Lawyer

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Source: mediatebc.com, “Mediate BC Why Choose Mediation?“, Accessed on Aug. 4, 2017

Couples facing divorce have much on their minds — sometimes overwhelmingly so. Separating British Columbia couples, especially those with children, must realize they need to take care of their well-being to continue to be active parents. Divorce is one of the most stressful experiences in life, second only to the death of a child or partner. Divorce mediation can make what can be a very rocky path much easier to navigate.

In a divorce situation, those involved must acknowledge that things are hard. Researchers have proved that when people understand and give their fears credence, what they think are shortcomings and what causes them shame helps them to grow in maturity and strength. Divorce mediation can be a process that strengthens separating British Columbians.

Agreeing to divorce mediation can help a couple leave the negatives of their situation at the door and deal with difficult issues like adults. Asking for this help can reduce anxiety, help the couple to develop a new, co-operative parenting strategy for their children and help them to deal with the changes that are happening in their lives. There are healthy ways to get through a divorce, and engaging in divorce mediation is one of them.

Even for couples who have the help of an expert seasoned in divorce mediation, having the help of a lawyer experienced in family law will be invaluable. Any couple living in British Columbia considering divorce mediation over litigation will find that a family law lawyer will be able to recommend a mediator. A lawyer will also provide legal counsel regarding any agreements before being signed and given to the court.

Lawyer in Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Source: canada.ca, “Helping children and youth live with separation and divorce,” Accessed on July 29, 2017

British Columbia residents who are considering ending their marriages might have heard that they can avoid the costs and trauma typically associated with litigation. Opting for divorce mediation can provide a platform for peaceful negotiation by which both spouses have the opportunity to discuss their concerns. A qualified divorce mediator will facilitate the negotiations and encourage communication — and compromise when necessary — to help couples reach agreements that suit all concerned.

However, even though a divorce mediator can be a qualified lawyer, to avoid a conflict of interest, he or she may not give legal advice to either spouse. For that, and for valuable input, each party may have his or her legal representative present during mediation sessions. So, how can the mediator help? The experience of a qualified divorce mediator allows him or her to explain the laws related to property division, spousal support, child custody and child support.

After assessing the family dynamics, the mediator can make suggestions that may guide spouses to resolve their issues. These may include parenting plans, and although the court makes decisions about child support, spouses may discuss additional payments. The same goes for spousal support, financial decisions and property division for which couples may find their own solutions. Once the parties understand the laws related to these issues, it may be empowering to be able to make these decisions together rather than leaving it to a judge who has no intimate knowledge of the family.

Throughout negotiations, the respective lawyers can ensure their clients have fair participation. If couples can agree on all issues, their respective divorce lawyers can make sure the settlement agreement complies with the laws of British Columbia. However, if some issues prove unsolvable, couples may choose to let the court decide on those and then come to divorce mediation to draft a final agreement which the lawyers can present to the court.

Source: divorcesupport.about.com, “What Legal Issues Can a Divorce Mediator Discuss?“.

Ask a legal question? Call Laughlin Law!

Family Lawyer Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

We recently discussed how important it is for people who are going through a mediated divorce to go into the process prepared. You can do this by thinking about what points of the settlement you can negotiate on as well as the points that you need to hold firm on. We can help you evaluate your assets and other points to determine a course of action.

While you are going through divorce mediation, the property division process isn’t the only one that you have to think about. You also have to consider matters such as spousal support and child custody. These matters can often be even more stressful than trying to divide property.

We know that you might have some questions about the decisions you will need to make during the divorce process. We can help you understand what Canadian law, as well as provincial law, says about the matters pertaining to your divorce.

As you go through the mediation process, you have to be willing to keep an open mind. There is a chance that you will be presented with an option for settling matters that you didn’t think about. By keeping an open mind, you might be able to settle things in a way that works for you but is slightly different from what you were thinking about.

We know that all of this is a lot to think about. At Laughlin & Company, we can help you sort through things in a manner that helps you to fully understand what options you have that are viable in your case.

Law Firms in Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

The mental trauma of going through a divorce is something that some people don’t expect. Even if you are the one who decides that divorce is the best thing, you are likely still going to have some emotional reaction to the filing and finalization that signals the end of your marriage.

If you are going through mediation to end your marriage and get the terms of the divorce settled, you have to make sure that you don’t let your emotions stand in the way of making progress. Your emotional ties to the marriage and the assets could hinder you from being able to negotiate.

Negotiations are the key to getting the divorce terms worked out. You have to be willing to stop and think about how various terms will work out for you. While you are going through the negotiations, make sure that you take the time to listen to what is being said and offered. This can be difficult, but being able to distance your emotions can help.

One thing that you can do that might help you to remain focused on the issues is to do your research before the negotiation process starts. If you have a marital home, for example, know the value, what is owed on it, what the typical upkeep is and any other factors that could affect the home or your finances in the future. Being armed with facts and figures could help you out.

While you are going through the mediation process, try to stay positive. It is easy to be discouraged when it seems like progress is slow. Sometimes, slow progress is exactly what you need to give you time to ensure that the issues you think are important are addressed.

Source: Family Affairs, “7 Tips on Preparing for Divorce Mediation,” Joy Rosenthal, accessed Oct. 13, 2016

Law Firm in Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370
laughlinlaw.ca

In our previous post, we discussed how watching pornography without your spouse can lead to divorce. That probably doesn’t come as a shock to some people, but it does bring up an important point. There are various reasons why marriages don’t last. No matter what the reason for your marriage is ending, you must take the steps necessary to protect your future. Your divorce settlement is the end of the marriage, but also the springboard to your future.

We know that the end of your marriage is likely to lead to some thoughts of uncertainty. There is no guarantee how the property you and your ex-amassed will be divided. If you have children, you might be worried about how they will handle the divorce. You might also wonder about child custody. Who will get the children when and who will pay child support are likely concerns.

Every point in your divorce settlement must be considered very carefully. When you are dividing property and trying to determine child custody solutions, you have to think about the options. You can’t let your heart rule during this time. We are here to help you look at the possible options and weigh how each one will affect you.

When it is time to try to negotiate the points of your divorce, mediation is one possible option. We can work with you to determine what points you will hold fast on and what points are up for negotiation. We try to help you think about your future and how the possible settlements might affect you now and then.

Lawyers Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

A recent study that was presented at the American Sociological Association meeting found that watching pornography can lead to the end of your marriage. The study hasn’t been peer-reviewed yet, but there aren’t any major methodological flags present.

The study used data that was from a poll that asks Americans about a host of activities. The data came from the 2006 to 2014 General Social Survey. When the data was studied, it was found that women watching porn is more likely to kill a marriage than men watching porn.

For men, the rate of divorce doubled from 5 percent to 10 percent when he watched porn. For women, the divorce rate tripled from 6 percent to 18 percent when she watched porn.

There is a difference in what happens when women and men stop watching porn. If the woman stops watching porn, the divorce rate goes back down to 6 percent. That isn’t necessarily the case for men, but the study was cautious about making statements in this regard because most of the men who reported they were watching porn didn’t stop.

There are many other factors that can affect whether porn leads to divorce in a marriage. Typically, people who attend regular religious services are less likely to divorce because of porn, while younger couples are more likely to divorce because of porn.

No matter what is causing you to end your marriage, you should take steps to make sure that your interests are protected. Divorce mediation can often help you to get a settlement that puts you in the best financial position as possible.

Source: Science Magazine, “Divorce rates double when people start watching porn,” David Shultz, Aug. 26, 2016

Lawyer Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

The mediation process is often a faster, more cost-effective method of getting through all the points in your divorce. If you are planning on going through mediation, you should make sure that you are properly prepared before you head to the first session, as well as subsequent sessions if more than one is necessary.

You must mentally prepare for the mediation session before that first session. This is a big point because how you mentally prepare can have an impact on how you handle the negotiations that are part of the process. You have to be ready to negotiate on the points that come up. Compromise is the key to mediation, so you can’t go into the meeting thinking that you are going to get your way on every point. You can’t let your emotions, such as anger, rule you during the mediation process.

Another important consideration is the financial aspect of the divorce. You need detailed financial records so that you can get moving on the property division process. Planning a budget for when you are a single person can often help you in this portion of the mediation process. Your budget lets you know what you can afford, which can help you to know if you are able to afford assets that require upkeep and have other expenses.

Make a list of the concerns that you have. By writing down your concerns, you can make sure that you have those addressed during the divorce negotiations. If you want, you can make a list of points that you think you need to hold firm on and points that you are willing to negotiate on. This can let you start your negotiations a bit higher than what you are willing to accept.

During the process, you can ask to speak to the mediator and/or your attorney in private. This might help you to discuss problems that are sensitive in nature. This also gives you the chance to get answers to any questions about your rights or obligations answered.

Source: The Huffington Post, “How to Prepare for Your First Mediation Session — Your Eight Steps Plan,” Dr. Michelle Rozen, accessed Aug. 12, 2016

Family Lawyers Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370
https://www.laughlinlaw.ca/